Stress Please

Let's Talk About Stress!

Ironically a stressful event derailed my writing this blog a couple weeks ago. The one year old water hearter at Glamtique refused to work. No hot water in a salon the weekend before Christmas!! Talk about stress if you’re a business owner! Great timing, right?! We fixed the lack of hot water but it did take longer than we would have preferred. The silver lining is we learned quite a bit from the situation (also about water heaters). I mean this is just in addition to the normal stresses. Everyday life can be pretty stressful by itself! Everyone deals with this, some do it with more grace, and others well….that’s why i’m writing this.

Disclaimar - I am not a doctor, so if you have some serious issues please seek a professional! Ok? Thanks

So what is stress really? I’ll stay high level here. Aside from a feeling of anxiety, it’s hormones, the main one being cortisol. Cortisol rises as the body goes through stress (also for many other reasons). The Amygdala (A - mig - da - la), part of the Limbic System (“Caveman Brain”), plays are large role in processing these emotions. This is where “fight or flight” is triggered (by a rise in Cortisol). From a nervous system perspective this is referred to as sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system responses.

What does this mean? Rob are you telling me that my parents and kids are causing the same response as a T-Rex running after me? Well….hormonally…..yes.

Let’s be real - stress is often a good thing! It gets you to move and forces you to take action. It’s a healthy response in the body. Of course too much stress is dabilitating for obvious reasons. I’ll spare you the Adrenal Fatigue, HPA Access, and Cushing Syndrome discussion. Maybe for another day.

Let’s talk stress management. There’s a lot of things I personally do to manage my stress. Am i perfect? No. I lose my shit just like everyone else. However, I do work intentionally on improving. Little by little. I keep trying to get better and learn and grow. See this my blog post for more on this!

Stress also comes in many different forms and your reaction to it manifests itself differently. Depending on the type of stress the alleviation/management of said stress may require a different approach. The following have helped me and countless others.

Mindfullness

Being aware/conscious, and present, in the moment. Noticing your feelings, sensations, and environment and accepting them. Mindfulness may seem a bit “woo woo” but it’s extremely effective for stress management. One way to practice mindfullness is through meditation. Mindfullness and meditation are often confused as the same thing - they are not, but definitely overlap.

What mindfulness helps to do is stay more in the moment. Think of it as social and emotional focus. It helps me to recognize what I’m feeling and gives space before reacting. It’s helpful in diagnosing your “triggers” so you can determine the why and to be better aware of other people’s emotions. From a stress standpoint this is helpful in determining what stresses you but more importantly why and how that impacts others.

Try This: Read the next section on meditation. This will help grately with mindfullness. Also think about really living in the moment. Play with you kids or a pet, listen to some music, read a book, have a convesrationd and focus. Does your mind wander? Did you notice something you didn’t before? Keep trying. Meditation with a focus on breath can help with this.

Meditation/Breathing

Your breath is something many take for granted, or don’t notice. That is unless you’re running, panting, completely out of breath, gasping for air (we’ve all been there). A lot of times though you get stressed and your breathing gets shallow. That or you may not realize it, but you’re holding your breath.

There a lot of breathing and meditation techniques to help. An app that has helped me is Headspace. Its free and great for beginners. Another app is Waking Up from Sam Harris.

Most meditation practices will have you focus on breath at some point. Breathing controls stress levels and is a signal to the body as such (remember cortisol). Thus, one way to alleviate stress is to take some long deep breaths through the nose in out the mouth slowly. In times where i feel completely overwhelmed, this has been a helpful tool.

Try This: Close your eyes and breath in for 4 seconds through the nose and out for 4 seconds through the mouth. Do this for 30 seconds to a minute. You’ll notice an immediate difference. Then download Headspace and try your first meditation. Do it whenever is convenient.

Exercise

Exercise, especially resistance training (weight lifting), is great for stress. This is for a plethora of reasons: gets rid of excess energy (relieving anxiety), good for your hormones, creates sense of ephoria, mental cognitive boost, helps alleviate depression, keeps you in the moment, increases resiliency in mind and body, and can help boost confidence.

This subject will reappear but this is HUGE! Even just taking a walk when you’re stressed helps your brain reset and gives time to think, reorganize, and prioritize thoughts.

Try This: Go for a run, walk, lift some weights, jump up and down, squat, do some push ups, yoga, stretch, dance like nobody is watching, be a spazz like Kevin McAllister in Home Alone - something physical. Start somewhere.

Gratitude and Reframing

I say this often, and have learned it from others (thanks Gary Vaynerchuck ), but it’s really hard to be unhappy if you’re trully grateful. Reframing is a powerful tool! Are you still alive? Do you have a place to sleep at night? Do you have plumbing? A home? Can you walk? If the answer is yes, then you’re doing better than a lot of other people today!! Be thankful for that. Reframe your perspective. Somebody, somewhere, definitely has it WAY worse than you unless you’re dead (morbid but true).

Be grateful for what you DO have rather than always wanting more of what you don’t have. Oftentimes wanting what you don’t have will make you miserable and unhappy and stressed. It’s why there are unhappy and miserable billionaires. Money makes you happy only to a certain extent. Even if you get that thing you wanted, there will be the next thing. Love what you have and appreciate what’s in front of you - person, place, or thing. Reframing and gratitude. It’s a super power.

Try This: Write down three things you’re grateful for today - even simple things. For example: Have you ever had an injury or lost use of something that made life more difficult? You experience some form of gratitude when the healing process has finished. Use that in your everyday life without experiencing the pain! Wow - I never realized how much we benefit from warm water, or how important electricity is! Simple things, but also the big ones. :-)

Writing

At times I get stressed because there’s just too much to do given the time I have. I find a lot of stress releif by getting it all “out of my head”. Whether that means journaling and just writing out how i’m feeling, and why, or creating a list. The power of a list and checking things off as you complete them cannot be understated. Humans love to check boxes. It’s psychologically proven. Even little things. Creating a short list and checking things off will help you to start to get into a groove of productivity. Take that and run with it beause the best stress relief if you’re just really busy is to get things done.

Try This: Start your day by making a quick list of what you need to get done. If you’re having trouble being motivated to start begin with some easy to do tasks. If a list ins’t your style then try journaling. Write out what’s on your mind - anything - just start writing.

Kindness

What happens more often than not when you’re stressed? You are likely irritable and possibly angry. That’s normal and i’m definitely prone to this. Kindness would be the opposite. Being kind is a free and easy way to not only make others feel better but to make yourself feel better too. Open a door for someone else, buy coffee, do a chore, ask how someone is, or any other act of kindness. Even just smile. Smile!!! Smiling even if you feel crappy helps. Laugh, make eye contact, connect with others positively. Just be the first person to say “hi”. Be social. Interact with others.

Try This: BE KINDER AND CONNECT

Comfort in Discomfort

Let’s face it. We all do our best to be comfortable. To try and not say no to ourselves. We surely say no to others (except for maybe my people pleasers), but not nearly as often to ourselves. Sure, eat the cookies, binge watch tv, drink your emotions away. Have you tried self regulation? It’s a muscle. I’m not saying never do these things but be more mindful of them.

Also trying things that scare you or cause discomfort. Repeating this process over and over will make you more resilient. Being resilient means you can handle more with less stress.

Try this: Start your day off doing something you’re not looking forward to doing or dreading. Yeah…you know what that task is. Knock that out right away. Then follow it up with your list from above starting with some simple tasks - cleaing, paying bills, organizing, making a call, etc. You’ll feel like you’re on fire after knocking out a few things quickly. Now leverage that into productivity. You’re welcome.

Let me know if any of this helped you! What do you do to help alleviate stress? Other that may help include listening to music, a proper diet, talking to a friend or spouse, cleaning/organizing and many others. Let us know!